Do you find yourself increasingly disturbed by the amount of time you spend using technology and social media? If so, you should ditch your smartphone like a bad boyfriend, ASAP. Ever since I took the plunge and broke up with my phone, a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My attention span has improved, my headaches have disappeared, and my mental health has never been better. I was once a slave to my smartphone and social media, but I’m now a free bird with endless opportunities to pursue activities that actually bring me fulfillment and joy. It truly is like getting rid of a toxic boyfriend who does nothing but bring you down and make you miserable.
Now, when I say you should ditch your smartphone, I don’t mean stop using it completely. Instead, I suggest practicing what author Cal Newport calls “digital minimalism” by using your phone with intention and as little as possible. I successfully ditched my phone using this method, and with my tips and tricks, you can too. So, if you’re interested in cutting back on your screen time, read on, my friend.
Why I Had to Ditch My Smartphone
Let me paint you a picture.
It’s the middle of the workday, and you decide to take a break to rest your eyes. Your hand automatically reaches for your phone and opens Instagram.
“I’m just going to check a couple of posts, no more than 5 minutes,” you tell yourself.
35 minutes later, you’ve scrolled yourself into oblivion and somehow jumped from Instagram to YouTube. You’re 10 minutes into a video you couldn’t give a shit about, wondering why the hell you clicked on it in the first place. You were supposed to be resting your eyes, but now they’re burning even more, and you feel like a sack of potatoes. You chastise yourself for having zero willpower and being a lazy fuck.
Sound familiar?
This was me, all the time. Bright and early in the morning, the first thing my hand reached for was my phone. It should’ve been reaching for my husband, but nay, it went for the phone. At work, taking a break? Oh, let me get on Google to see if the rash on my arm is from flesh-eating bacteria, dermatitis, or a mosquito bite. Eating lunch? Sure, I can hold a fork and still scroll through reels. Home from a long day of work? I’m just gonna sit on the couch and watch this one video. Snug under the covers, ready for bed? Yeah, but I just wanna check one thing about that movie I saw 25 years ago…
I Stopped Doing the Things I Loved
My phone was attached to my hand, and all of this screen time was seriously getting in the way of life. I stopped doing the things I loved because I’d scroll the hours away.
Somehow, my smartphone replaced leisurely reading, spending time outside, exercising, cooking, playing video games, doing puzzles, listening to music, watching favorite TV shows, and coloring.1 Man, I used to love coloring to decompress.
The Decline of My Attention Span & Well-being
In addition to missing out on life, my attention span was plummeting. Running Totally Historic requires me to conduct a shit ton of research and, of course, write about it. I found myself antsy and distracted while working, which had never happened before. I couldn’t read a damn chapter without diverting my attention elsewhere. My constant thought was, “What the hell is happening to me?” I was in despair!
I was also anxious and angry much of the time. This was largely due to doomscrolling, which is defined as “spending excessive time online scrolling through news or other content that makes one feel sad, anxious, angry, etc.”2
Somehow, the algorithm decided that, in addition to videos of cute puppies, I needed to see news that angered me. Each video or headline made me more indignant than the last. The worst offenders are rage baiters, who purposely make content that sends people in a tizzy, all for the views.
On top of all of this, I felt I was no longer “present.” I’d be with my husband at dinner, but we’d both be silent, on our phones. I started to reminisce and long for the days we’d spend an entire meal talking and laughing together. With my attention constantly elsewhere, I felt as if I just didn’t have enough energy or brain power to spare on events happening in real time.
Finally, I started feeling bad about myself. I’d berate myself for my lack of self-control and laziness. I couldn’t figure out where I’d gone wrong. This wasn’t me. I’ve never had a problem with time management, focusing, self-discipline, and making time for play. But all of a sudden, I was no longer in control of my time or my brain.
My Smartphone Was Making Me Stupid
I felt like my smartphone was making me stupid. I was relying on it more than ever for information, which, in the grand scheme of things, didn’t matter. If a question popped into my head, I’d run to my phone to look up an answer. When my husband and I asked each other a question that we didn’t know the answer to, we’d joke, “If only there were a device we could use to look that up…” Somehow, though, that device became a crutch. Did I really need to know which character said that line in episode 17, season 5 of whatever show? Or could I use my damn brain for 20 seconds to remember the answer, or just let it go and not care? Was this information really that important?
I also found myself asking, “Why am I bingeing meaningless content?” The vast majority of social media content I consumed was vapid nonsense. Enter brain rot, which Oxford defines as “supposed deterioration of a person’s mental or intellectual state, especially viewed as a result of overconsumption of material (now particularly online content) considered to be trivial or unchallenging.”3
I sorely missed television shows and books with good writing, strong characters, and masterful storytelling. The videos of people dancing in their living rooms (sorry if that’s you) added zero meaning to my life, and I found myself not giving a fuck about what people are doing on the internet.
Time for Action
So, for all these reasons, and probably some I haven’t even realized yet, I decided to ditch my smartphone.
I started my journey to ditch my smartphone as I always do. Research. One of my main resources was Cal Newport’s book Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World. I suggest you pick up a copy if you’d like to break up with your phone.
Why You Should Ditch Your Smartphone
But before I delve into how you can ditch your smartphone, I’d like to provide you with information about why we all should limit our screentime.
Smartphones are Designed for Addiction
Smartphones and social media are intentionally engineered to make you addicted. In a 2017 interview, Tristan Harris, a former Google engineer and co-founder of the Center for Humane Technology, revealed that smartphones are designed like slot machines. As a whistleblower, he explained how tech companies use specific techniques to manipulate users’ behaviors and emotions. They purposely design phones and social media so we use them for as long as possible and keep coming back for more. They’re programming us to profit off of us.4
So, don’t feel too bad—you’re not lazy or have no willpower, you’ve just been duped and forced into an addiction.
Addictive Features
Let’s take a quick look at some of the addictive features of social media.
- Swiping to refresh your feed mimics pulling the handle of a slot machine.
- Scrolling provides “intermittent positive reinforcement.” This means that we as humans get happy when we’re rewarded intermittently or unpredictably. For some reason, we’re not that excited when we expect rewards. Instead, we get that dopamine hit when an unexpected reward comes, say, in the form of a video of a golden retriever being the cutest thing ever. How many bad, annoying videos did you have to scroll through to get to that good one? Probably a lot. And it’s not because the algorithm sucks. It’s because the algorithm wants you to keep scrolling for another good one and will unexpectedly reward you 23 shitty videos later.
- Humans crave social approval, which is addictive in and of itself. It’s a fact. The tech companies know this and have added features such as like buttons, comments, tagging, and sharing. Don’t lie to yourself, you love it when someone likes your post, leaves a comment, or tags you. How about when someone shares a video with you? You know they’re thinking about you, and that makes you all giddy inside.5
- People have FOMO (fear of missing out). They love being in the know and can’t stand not being part of something. Enter…social media trends and hashtags. How many people do you have to see doing the same dance moves to the same song in their living rooms to believe in FOMO?
For more information about social media’s negative (but intentional) impact on society, see the 2020 documentary, The Social Dilemma.
Social Media is Not Social
Despite the name, social media is not social. Maybe it was at first, when we millennial college students signed up for Facebook back in the day. Or when boomers ruined Facebook by constantly posting photos of their dinner. Or when people flocked to Instagram to look at their friends’ baby photos. But really, is that why you still use it? Probably not. Sure, your cousin’s dog might show up in your feed once in a blue moon, but you’re probably seeing a hell of a lot of ads and other nonsense, too. Let’s be real. We no longer use social media primarily for keeping up with family and friends.
Additionally, social media makes our behavior less social. My favorite are the keyboard warriors who rip people apart in comments. You know for a fact they wouldn’t have the balls to say what they type to someone’s face. And if they did, they’d leave with a broken nose.
There are numerous studies on the effects of phone and social media use on Gen Z and the Alpha generation. They’re often depressed, anxious, unfocused, and lack social skills. As Gen Z enters the workforce, articles abound noting their lack of verbal communication skills, emotional intelligence, and empathy. Yikes.
How To Ditch Your Smartphone
With all of this information swirling in my head, I knew I needed to ditch my smartphone by practicing digital minimalism. Cal Newport defines digital minimalism as “applying the belief that less can be more to our relationship with digital tools.”6 Basically, it’s reducing the time you spend online and only using digital tools for intentional, specific activities.
Newport talks about all digital devices, but really, my problem was my phone. In my case, television and video games have never been an issue for me, nor has my computer. But everyone is different, so you have to take an honest look at all the digital tools in your life. I’ll be focusing on how to tackle your phone, but you can apply these principles to whatever culprit is wreaking havoc in your life.
I won’t lie and say I’ve got it all figured out. I’m still adjusting. I’ll also tell you that when I first read Newport’s book, I was like, “Cal, my man, are you for real? You’re asking for the impossible.” But I let his ideas noodle in my brain for months, maybe even a year, before I put them into practice. So, without further ado, here are tips on how to ditch your smartphone, using my experience as a model.
1. Make a List
The first step to ditching your smartphone is to review all the apps on your phone. Write down (with a pen and paper!) what you use each one for and, on average, how long you spend on it per day. Side note: When I did this, I discovered my phone had created an entire folder of games that it decided to download for me with each update. There were like 30 games in there! What in the actual fuck?
2. Delete Apps
With your handy list, contemplate which apps you need and which you can do without. I was harsh in my decisions and even got rid of some that made my life more convenient. I only kept what I felt was necessary and least harmful to my time.
I uninstalled all social media apps. All games, gone. Less difficult was getting rid of the apps I used sparingly, and boy, there were a lot of them. The physical act of cleaning up your phone is freeing. Go ahead, go on that deleting spree!
The big problem for me was the Internet browsers. While I got rid of the YouTube app, I found I could still just go to the website. I deleted the browsers but found it difficult because I value accessing the Internet in a pinch when I’m out and about, like at doctors’ offices, or when I need the train schedule. Or, when my husband texts me videos of spicy Maltese dogs. Since I no longer have social media apps, I can only view them from a mobile browser.
So, my solution was to put the browser in a folder and move it off my home screen. This makes it annoyingly tedious to access. Now, with this tiny but efficient barrier, I only use the browser when I truly need it.
Eliminating apps from your phone is the first step. The second step is stopping yourself from redownloading them. Which I did, numerous times. This is a process, okay? But I was committed and got to the point where they stayed off for good.
3. Deliberate Use & Tweaks
To truly stay off the apps, you have to dig deeper. I did serious introspection by writing about what I wanted from technology. Ask yourself, what can technology do for me, without overpowering my life? How could I be intentional with tech?
I decided that, as much as I hate social media, it’s useful for my business and sometimes personally to see periodic family updates. So, while I deleted the apps from my phone, I decided to log on to social media only on my computer, once a week for 10-15 minutes. The great thing about this is, social media companies trick out their mobile apps but make websites clunky and less fun to use. As a result, I don’t even want to spend time on the websites, so I’m able to limit it to 10 minutes. In the case of some social media sites, I’ve stopped using them altogether. It just happened naturally.
You Don’t Have to Get Rid of Everything
I didn’t want to completely forgo YouTube, however, because there are creators on the platform whom I value. So, if it’s a Monday, I know to head over to Bailey Sarian’s channel for the latest episode of Murder, Mystery, and Makeup Monday. I watch it on my computer, and when it’s over, I turn it off.
In terms of my phone in general, I turned off all notifications except for texts and calls. Other than phone calls and texts, I use my phone for Google Maps, Spotify (music & podcasts), buying train tickets, the calculator (because I can’t do math in my head), the camera now and then, and weirdly, getting points at Stew Leonard’s. That’s it.
The way you use your phone will be different, but make it a minimal as possible. Some folks even decide to ditch their smartphones altogether and get a flip phone. The idea has merit, but I’ve yet to bite the bullet. It’s something I am aiming for in the future.
4. Leave the Phone Behind
Sometimes, eliminating mobile apps isn’t enough to ditch your smartphone completely. You must learn to leave your phone behind. This looks different depending on the situation, but it boils down to making it as inconvenient as possible to get to the phone. Here’s what it looks like for me:
- When I’m at work, the phone stays in my purse. When it’s sitting on my desk, I’m more tempted to reach for it. So away it goes. When I go to lunch, I leave my phone in my office.
- If I’m out with friends and family, or at a party, the phone stays in my purse, which typically goes on the back of my chair or gets dumped somewhere.
- When I go out for walks, the phone stays home.
- If I go to the bathroom, and I know I’m going to be there a while (you know what I mean), the phone stays in the living room. Bring a book instead!
- I’ve also banned all cellphones from the bedroom at night. Time for bed? Phones in the living room.
At first, you may experience separation anxiety. You may find yourself panicking when you realize your phone isn’t in your pocket or (gasp!) in the same room. But you should spend time apart, trust me.
5. Do Something Else
When you feel like reaching for your phone, reach for something else instead. For me, it’s usually a book (oh, the books I’ve read since I ditched my smartphone!) But it could be my video game controller, a pen and journal, the TV remote, or colored pencils and a coloring book. It could be my keys, so I can go for a walk. Or the vacuum, because my floor is so damn dirty.
This is your time to reclaim the leisurely activities you once loved or always wanted to do. Did you always want to learn how to knit? Great, spend 20 minutes knitting instead of scrolling. It’s a matter of retraining your brain so that other activities will be your go-to instead of your phone.
Digital Minimalism in Practice
Practicing digital minimalism is difficult at first, but it gets easier. Because if you think about it, our natural state is not to be attached to our phones. It may seem extreme to constantly be without your phone, but once you’re on the other side, you’ll begin to see how extreme society has become with its dependency on tech.
Telling Friends & Family (Or Not)
When I decided to ditch my smartphone and get off social media, I didn’t tell anyone except my husband. I recently had a conversation with my family about it, and my mom said, “Oh! That’s why you don’t ‘like’ anything anymore!” My aunt said, “Yeah, we thought you were mad at us because you stopped liking our photos.”
Then, my cousin chimed in, “Ahh…this all makes sense now. No wonder you haven’t responded to the videos I’ve shared. I said to myself, What’s going on, this bitch is always so responsive.”
When I told them why I ditched my smartphone and how wonderful my life has been since, we laughed about my abrupt disappearance. Crisis averted!
Now, you can tell your peeps what you’re doing if you don’t want to upset them, but I didn’t feel the need to. If your family and friends truly care about you, they will be on board and willing to contact you outside of social media. Or lovingly talk shit about you, like mine.
It’s Lonely But Worth It
It’s not easy to ditch your smartphone, especially when you’re the only one in your circle doing it. You start to see the world differently. When I’m in social settings, and everyone is on their phones, it’s tough, like being the only sober one in a group of drunk friends. My solution: whip out a book when everyone else whips out their phone. It’s a great alternative to sitting and twiddling my thumbs while the people around me scroll.
Despite this loneliness, it’s worth it. I feel like I’ve gotten my life back. Technology and social media don’t control me anymore; I control them.
If you ditched your smartphone and used techniques I didn’t mention here, drop them in the comments below!
Footnotes
- I realize that I named two screen-based pastimes in that list—playing video games and watching TV. These activities have never been addictive for me, and I somehow always self-regulated how much time I spent gaming and in front of the tube. So, I consider them to be different beasts, that at least for me, don’t have the same negative qualities as the smartphone. ↩︎
- Thank you, Merriam-Webster. ↩︎
- Oxford University Press. “Oxford Word of the Year.” ↩︎
- Newport, Digital Minimalism, 10. ↩︎
- Newport, Digital Minimalism, 17-23. ↩︎
- Newport, Digital Minimalism, XVII. ↩︎
Bibliography & Further Reading
*One of the following links is an Amazon affiliate link, which means I earn a commission if you make a purchase, at no cost to you.
Newport, Cal. Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World. Portfolio/Penguin, 2019.
Oxford University Press. “Oxford Word of the Year.” Last modified 2024.
Leave a Reply